Certified SCAM Artist FAQ
Being agilists we need to rename everything. So, although the term instructor is perfectly accurate we couldn't possibly use it. Luckily, software development really does seem to be more art than science, and because artists create art, it only makes sense that we have the role of artist somewhere in the agile lexicon. So, the SCUM Alliance has decided that anyone certified to teach the SCUM CertifiedTM Agile Master (SCAM) course will be referred to as a SCUM CertifiedTM SCAM Artist, not a Certified SCAM Trainer or Certified SCAM Instructor.
There's an incredible amount of money to be made charging people to become SCAMmers.
Got a pulse? Want to make lots of money? Do you have a weak sense of ethics? Willing to cut us checks on a regular basis? If you answered yes to all of these questions then you're qualified.
There are several critical steps to becoming a SCUM Certified TM SCAM artist:
There are three reasons why one a SCUM CertifiedTM SCAM Artist can be excommunicated from the SCUM Alliance.
Yes, this is an April Fool's Day joke. Sadly, this collection of pages is a parody of a very serious ethical lapse within the agile community. I believe that we can do much better. My hope is that this joke has made you step back and think about what's going on around you. Being a "Certified X", whatever X happens to be, implies that you've done something to earn that certification. If you've done very little to earn a certification then at best that's what your certification is worth: very little. If you're involved in a questionable certification scheme, regardless of whatever justifications that you tell yourself you have still shamed both yourself and your so-called profession. If you turn a blind eye to people who claim to be "certified masters" after doing almost nothing to earn that certification then you too are complicit: As Edmund Burke first said, all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. I invite everyone in the agile community to read Ethics for the Real World and to stand up and show some integrity -- Until then, our integrity debt will continue to grow. Enough is enough.
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